I've been thinking about reset buttons a lot lately. "Wouldn't be great if life had a reset button," I thought. I can remember when I was a little kid, playing nintendo. Eventually, we would come to a point in the game, some football or whatever game, where one person would be winning in a devastating fashion. Inevitably, the other person would hit the reset button. I've seen my nephews do it, it just happens.
We invented this button that lets us start over again, try again, fresh, no strings attached to the past. So, what would life be like if we had that?
I read The City and the Stars not long ago. The book has a reset button of sorts. In the "last" human city, Diaspar, people live forever. They are "born" every 100,000 years, by being assembled, and having their programming inserted into this new being. For the first 20 years of their life, they remember nothing of the old lives. After that, it starts to come back, slowly. They are reset for those first 20 years. If things go bad, they can just walk back into the hall of creation and return to the computer, awaiting their next life.
I don't believe in an afterlife, or reincarnation, or anything like that. I suppose if you do believe in such things, it gives you a sort of hope for the future, a hope that in the future you will get to start over, or at least go somewhere amazing, and perfect, as if such a place could exist. That isn't to say that there isn't hope to be had when you are living, or when you don't believe in such fanciful things.
I've wished I could press a reset button for most of this week. Part of it has been that my back has been aching since pulling a muscle, or something, last weekend. For much of the week, I could barely stand, or sit, or do anything. Part of it has been that I haven't been eating (regularly or at all), and that's put me into some sort of mood, cranky, easily annoyed. What are you supposed to do when you aren't hungry?
Either way, I came to the realization that wanting such a button is crap. You can't start over. Well, sure, you can try to correct things, you could pick up and move somewhere completely new, but, the same things will follow you, the same thoughts and feelings, the same concerns. You can only do with what you have, what you've experienced. You try to change the things you aren't happy with, as hard as some of those things are to change, or to even acknowledge, and you, I guess accept the things that you can't. Worrying about it, one of my favorite* pastimes is worthless, it just makes you crazy.
So, with that realization, or whatever it should be called, all the worry from the week just sort of disappeared.